The following information comes from the “Native Battering Triangle.” The YWCA offers a weekly talking circle led by Native women, for Native women. Call 543.6691.
- Treats her like a servant. Makes all the big decisions. Acts like the “king of the castle.” Defines men’s and women’s roles.
- Controls what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads. Limits her outside involvement. Uses jealousy to justify actions.
- Makes her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures. Smashes things. Destroys her property. Abuses pets. Displays weapons.
- Puts her down. Makes her feel bad about herself. Calls her names. Makes her think she’s crazy. Plays mind games. Humiliates her. Makes her feel guilty.
MINIMIZE, LIE, AND BLAME
- Makes light of the abuse and doesn’t take her concerns seriously. Says the abuse didn’t happen. Shifts responsibility for abusive behavior. Says she caused it.
- Makes her feel guilty about the children. Uses the children to relay messages. Uses visitation to harass her. Threatens to take away the children.
- Prevents her from working. Makes her ask for money. Gives her an allowance. Takes her money. Doesn’t let her know about or access family income.
COERCION AND THREATS
- Makes and/or carries out threats to do something to hurt her. Threatens to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare. Makes her drop charges. Makes her do illegal things.
- Competes over “Indian-ness.” Misinterprets culture to prove male superiority/female submission. Uses relatives to beat her up. Buys into “blood quantum” competitions.
- Prays against her. Defines spirituality as masculine. Stops her from practicing her ways. Uses religion as a threat: “God doesn’t allow divorce.” Says her period makes her “dirty.”
View the “Native Battering Triangle”